Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Women killing women - by silencing their voice.

One in three Australian women will be in a battle for their life against an ex or current intimate partner during their lifetime.  It becomes a fatal battle when the woman is strangled or smothered (because, can you believe it, they are trying to shut us up????) or when they are bludgeoned to death.  This is the common way for a woman to die at the the hands of someone that was, once or currently, claiming to love them.

Australian women die when they try to use their voice.



We are all guilty of being at a party and watching a violent argument without stepping in.  Listening to a neighbour being berated and threatened but we decide not to call police.  Because we have all been conditioned by that little Australian voice that says, "it's none of your business... stay out of it.... they are just drunk...".

Our conditioning starts in the classroom.  From the earliest age little girls are repeatedly praised and rewarded for being quiet, conscientious, listening, participating...  Little boys are expected to be loud, rambunctious, active.   When a boys academic ability naturally kicks in, they receive the academic accolades, and the girls are left with the residual messages of, "you have to be quiet, conscientious, and listen more if you want to receive recognition of this stature again".  And so the conditioning is ingrained.  It is further ingrained when we look at the traditional sports and recreational differences between girls and boys - girls dance and perform, are graded on perfectly slicked hair buns, silence, weight management and demure outward presence and a pleasant smile.  The gentleman run, kick, shout commands, tackle, grunt, throw, defend.  Their voice is a mark of their strength.  Their leadership.

Women are taught to make themselves as small as possible... make yourself smaller on that bus seat, lose weight, cross your legs, don't lose your temper.  Don't let your daughters get under anyone's feet.

If I had a penny for every woman who said, "I would like to train with weights, but I don't want to be bulky" I would retire.  Because God knows, you don't want to be physically dominate, do you?  That would be too much for the world to bare.
Australians left an indelible mark on the world stage by being the first country, in the world, to be more fixated on the colour of their first female Prime Minister's pubic hair, then her intellectual and political contributions.
And I witnessed educated women joining in on that conversation.  I saw the pleasure and venom with which they jeered at her.  Like returning to a 1980's school yard and dragging new girl off the popularity perch, so the boys won't take their attention away from the resident preening cool girls.

I will say no more on that.

No matter your political background, nothing screams 'insecure' and 'bigoted' more than people using name calling rather than rational intellectual and political argument.

Which I think our education system fails poorly in cultivating.  Who here has done courses on argument, reasoning and critical thinking????  Right.  Que crickets here.  Teaching people to think for themselves.... mmmmmm..... I wonder what would change if that was the basis of our school curriculum?

But name calling.  Australians are gold medalist in that.

But it is not my intent to bemoan and gesticulate.

My intent is this:
Before we as women silence other women with glances, behind hand whispers and social exclusion... could we perhaps teach our daughters there is another way? To teach them that we are all connected,  and when united we cannot be hurt.  That we will not give away our power by allowing others to hurt us.

Could we re-learn to use our voices?
Could we question our use of 'outdoor voices' and 'indoor voices' with our children, before social conditioning means that they have forgotten how to use their voice, when they need it the most?

Could we eradicate shame and guilt, and make these statement sentences a tool on a young girls tool belt that she brings her no embarrassment, only boundaries?  Sentences like:

  • No stop
  • I need some help today
  • I deserve respect
  • I am your equal
  • My feelings are valid
  • I deserve to be heard
  • Put on a condom
(Ladies, I teach teen girls that if we aren't mature enough to insist on a condom, then we are not mature enough to have sex).

It is not enough to stop the hands that beat us down.  We as woman must stop with our own judgement, reach out and lift up the voices of ALL woman.

We all know when our words come from a place of fear, and we know when our words come from that expansive, warm, tingling place of connection and inspiration.  Everyday I am working to come back to that, instead of that fearful, spiteful place (I fail quite regularly, but to ere is human).

When I teach you and your daughters, that is the place I want to open and ignite.  And then I watch it catch like wildfire as social conditioning is questioned, and connections and protections are cultivated.

Be that torch - you are that torch.  Don't silence women.  Give them a safe place to use their voice, and teach them the difference between words of fear, and words of truth.  This is how we shine light into the violent world of darkness.




Have you or a friend experienced a life threatening situation?
Are you looking for strategies to empower yourself and regain a sense of self and safety?
RAVES self defence now has an interactive e-book.




5 comments:

laila stephin said...

TIAB is a Sydney-based neighborhood maker invests critical energy in brisbane toolboxes or the fabricate and importation of hardware compartments, shades, trailers and ute plate. Formed by our extraordinarily experienced architects, with the use of latest development and mechanical assembly, our broad assortment of things is created utilizing predominant quality marine-audit aluminum.

hailey said...

Hi, Great information! Would you please consider sharing my link to your readers? Please email me back at haileyxhailey gmail.com.

Thanks!
Hailey

Emily Dickson said...

I'm Emily Dickson from USA I'm happy that my husband is back into my life after 2 years of divorce a strong spell caster named dr lagi brought him back I got his email online when a lady was testifying about the strong spell caster who restored her marriage then I said to myself since he helped her he can also help me so I emailed him and told him the pain that I was going through within 24 hours my husband came back home and our family is complete again If you are going through divorce since dr lagi helped me he can also help you email him at drlagispellhome@gmail.com

Quinn Lincoln said...

My heart was filled with remorse and pain for the past 7 months when my husband ended our marriage and went to his EX lover because i was not able to give him a son. I was so devastated and almost committed suicide because of the love and affection i had for my husband. I searched and asked everyone i knew for help but all my efforts were useless not until i was refereed to Doctor Casera by Oliver who i met online that he could be of help to my marriage for he has helped her before. I got in touch with the Doctor and i poured out everything i had in mind to him and he encouraged me and promised to make me smile and make me live a better life by getting my husband back with his powers between just 24 hours. I believed in him and to my very eyes, my husband came on his knees pleading for forgiveness to come back and rectify his mistakes and today we are living with so much Joy and happiness. If anyone out there needs help of any-kind, get in touch with the Doctor now for he will help you out.. E-mail: relationshipsolutionhome@hotmail.com OR call/text: +1 (518) 460-6400.

Brian Donald said...

BREAKUP REHAB ( AWESOME TRUE STORY )

I am Brian Donald and this is my testimony. In September 18th 2017, my girlfriend Maggie called it a quit to our 6 years relationship. it was pathetic, i tried to calm her down but she insisted on breakup because she has met another nice guy in Sydney. the pain was too-much for me to bear, so i went online to look for help then i saw a blog about this powerful spell caster from USA called Dr. Ugo Wonders. i read alot of testimonies about him but i was not too sure if he could help me because i was living in Australia but i decided to give him a try. i emailed him all about my relationship problem and my fear for distance, he assured me not to worry that distance is not a barrier and that the wind blows, so shall my help locate me in 24 hours.i trusted him by his words at once and followed his instructions. Immediately after 24 hours of casting the spell as he instructed me, my girlfriend who left me to be with another man came back home to me and started begging me forgiveness. i was shocked, surprised and amazed and i was like "wow" it worked like a magic. this is the reason i decided to share this my wonderful testimony with the whole world to contact this world classified spell caster called Dr. Ugo for any relationship or breakup issues via his email generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number +13863369876 website: http://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com



BREAKUP REHAB ( AWESOME TRUE STORY )

I am Brian Donald and this is my testimony. In September 18th 2017, my girlfriend Maggie called it a quit to our 6 years relationship. it was pathetic, i tried to calm her down but she insisted on breakup because she has met another nice guy in Sydney. the pain was too-much for me to bear, so i went online to look for help then i saw a blog about this powerful spell caster from USA called Dr. Ugo Wonders. i read alot of testimonies about him but i was not too sure if he could help me because i was living in Australia but i decided to give him a try. i emailed him all about my relationship problem and my fear for distance, he assured me not to worry that distance is not a barrier and that the wind blows, so shall my help locate me in 24 hours.i trusted him by his words at once and followed his instructions. Immediately after 24 hours of casting the spell as he instructed me, my girlfriend who left me to be with another man came back home to me and started begging me forgiveness. i was shocked, surprised and amazed and i was like "wow" it worked like a magic. this is the reason i decided to share this my wonderful testimony with the whole world to contact this world classified spell caster called Dr. Ugo for any relationship or breakup issues via his email generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number +13863369876 website: http://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com